5 - THE Chapter // Suicide in The Bible

In this episode Tomy talks about what it was like to write THE chapter on suicide intervention.

Transcript

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Hey Shepherds and welcome back to the Shepherds of the Mind bonus content. So thankful that you've chosen to continue on with us in this journey. Today we are going to be talking about the chapter, the hardest one, the chapter that deals with suicide and suicide in the Bible. So let's dive right in. Well, I know for so many people that this is probably the hardest chapter to read. In fact, I I've already talked to multiple friends and people on the launch team that were like, man, it it was just kind of hard. And I get it because it's a topic that's hard to talk about, regardless of our history. But especially if we have any sort of history ourselves, either because we've been in places of suicidal desperation or we love some that have, or we have loved ones who have died by suicide, like this was just always going to be the hardest chapter. And it was probably one of the most emotionally taxing to write as well. And yet, because of all the different trainings that I've been through, and I talk about all of them in the book, I was also maybe the one that I felt the most equipped to write. It still, again, it was emotionally taxing, but it came to me fairly quickly when I sat down to write it. And um really the only part that I kind of wrestled through to make sure that I it was approaching it the way that I wanted to was the seek model. Um, and that was mostly because I wanted to make sure that it was thorough. Um it's funny, you kind of get into multiple suicide intervention programs, and they all use slightly different language, but they're all essentially sharing the same things that you should be focused on doing. And it's because, you know, what works is what works. And so, um, but trying to make it uniquely mine and ours for this book, I think was important. And so I wrestled with that for a little bit, just trying to make sure that I wordsmithed it well. Um, but again, for a lot of people, it felt like the place to start once I set up the topic through some of my own story and talked about stay day and some of that, um, was to try to give them a framework to recognize that actually the Bible talks more about suicide than most people know. And certainly it doesn't use the language. Um, and yet you can see these places where where people die by suicide, where they are in places of suicidal desperation at different points. And I think especially seeing so many people that are listed in like the hall of faith in Hebrews, to be able to recognize wow, this the again, the Bible touches on this more than you would initially think. And so starting with that framework hopefully was a good way to open up for people just the ability to read more about it and recognize actually this is a conversation that we should be having. And then as we get into the seek model after that and um spotting the signs, evaluating the risk, engaging with empathy, keeping them safe, um, really was trying to get people to a place of um, okay, now that you have felt that it's okay to talk about, hopefully start to feel the need to be able to show up well for people, then wanting to give a really, really clear picture of how do we uh show up within these kinds of moments to be able to help and to show up in ways that are helpful, not harmful. And I know it's it's an incredibly um just heavy thing to step into. And even for me, I have again done a lot of suicide interventions at this point. I've been trained in multiple different ways. And even still, there's usually this moment right when you recognize, oh, that's what we're talking about here, where there was a sense of overwhelm. And so I understand for people reading this why it can be so difficult, even if they haven't been in that kind of a place before, if they don't have a loved one who does, just imagining having to have this kind of uh literal life or death conversation and showing up for someone in a great way is just a lot. And so I had one friend tell me, he's like, Man, I'm trying to to work my way through the book, but it's just heavy and and it's a it's a good friend that I've known for a long time. And so again, I'm like, man, I understand. Like, go at your own pace. I don't, I don't want to rush you through anything. Um, but then also, you know, again, knowing that this was probably the first time he was hearing a lot of this about my story, I can understand why it's so hard. I had another friend say that he's like, Man, I'm trying to work my way through the book. I've been doing it before I go to bed at night. But I kind of had to take a break for a few days because I was having nightmares and I was just like, oh man, I'm sorry that that is what your experience has been. And yet I appreciate, you know, just the willingness to continue to engage with it. And obviously, I knew writing the book, I knew writing this chapter, it was going to be hard. It might um kind of surface some things for people that they needed to wrestle with or whatever it might be, but then starting to get some feedback of like, yeah, it's it's difficult to get through some of the content because of how heavy it is, really started to um honestly, in some ways, just affirm for me the importance of this content in the book. And I don't want anyone to feel this pressure of like, hey, you gotta power through. Like, if you're not in a place where it's time to read it, then by all means, don't read it like take care of yourself. I say this over and over throughout the book of like go at your own pace and invite others into that journey. Um, and yet ultimately anyone that I've ever done a suicide intervention training with um is has said if they ever have to utilize the tools from that training, they're like, I'm so incredibly grateful that I went through the training because it's one of those things that you don't want to be caught unprepared. And hopefully, the prayer is that that you know not very many people have to go through something like that. But the reality is that many of us will, or at least we will not have missed an opportunity to show up if we feel prepared. And so really hoping and praying that as people get into this particular piece of the content, that they do A, feel equipped to know how to show up, um, but then B, to be able to know when they might need to show up, to be able to start to recognize some of those signs, like we talk about, so that collectively as the church, we can say, yeah, we're we're all here. You're not alone. And so um I'm incredibly grateful, and I talk about him in this book. Uh, I'm incredibly grateful to my friend David Galvan, who um kind of got me into this journey of suicide intervention and mental health advocacy and knowing how to show up for people well. And I say it in the book, uh, in the gratitude section, but it's this book simply does not exist without him, um, as it led to more and more doors being opened for me to continue to educate myself and to to be available to others. And so um looking forward to down the point uh down the road at some point, um, maybe even having an option of this seek model becoming its own training for the church to know how to show up well for others. And uh, we'll see where God ends up taking that. But uh, thanks for tuning in today for this episode, and we can't wait to see you back here again for another one.