3 - Intro and Vulnerability

In this episode Tomy talks about finding the right amount of vulnerability as he began writing Shepherds of The Mind.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hey Shepherds, and welcome back to the Shepherds of the Mind bonus content. Thank you for tuning back in. Today we're going to be talking about the introduction as well as kind of some vulnerability that is present throughout the book. So let's dive right in. Well, I started writing the introduction, as I mentioned in a previous bonus episode, at the condo of some friends in Bend, Oregon. And honestly, it felt so right to be writing this book and to begin writing this book at their table where I had received so much care. I say this in the book. When I first sat down and started writing that morning, the thought that I had was a way that I could kind of start the book out. And I knew fairly early on that I wanted to share my story about my own trauma journey as part of a running story or a running framework throughout this book that I just wanted to be really vulnerable and felt led to do that. And so I, for whatever reason that morning, it came to mind that, oh, I think I have a good opening line for this book. If you've ever heard me preach, you know that one of the things that I love to do is to just start right in the middle of a story. I remember learning all the way back in high school, shout out uh Mrs. Wags for teaching me this one. Uh her name was actually Mrs. Wagner. We called her and her husband Wags, though. And uh remember learning this concept of in medius rays, which just means right in the middle. And so when you start a story to be able to, well, some of my favorite stories start not with this long buildup, but just kind of right in the middle of something. And so that's how I like to share stories when I'm preaching. And so it felt right to start the book in the same way, just with this line of I used to hunt, and then to lead into the um the boulder moment that I referenced several times throughout the book and and share starting in this introduction. I think what I had to wrestle with was exactly how vulnerable am I going to be? Because I knew on one hand, people would want hopefully to hear how it happened, and also I wanted to make sure that I was honoring others, but also myself and how I was sharing and what I was sharing. And so there was a couple of different versions of the introduction. And honestly, the first one that I thought was going to be too vulnerable at the beginning, actually, once I read back through it later, once I started editing, realized maybe wasn't quite vulnerable enough, in fact, and so went back and added a few extra details. Um, certainly not with the intention of sensationalizing anything, but it just felt like, no, I think I think I need to let people into what I was experiencing there. And really, I think as I was writing it though, I felt like I was being more vulnerable than maybe I even wanted to to start with. And the desire to bring that kind of vulnerability really set the tone for some of the personal stories that I share throughout the entire book. And so I think what's hard for me sometimes is knowing how to do it well, where you can bring some vulnerability, but not to the point that it's going to be unnecessarily activating for others who may have similar stories and maybe have been in similar places of pain or in this instance in places of suicidal desperation. And um, again, I knew for some people it was going to be hard to read. I know that as people begin reading this book, um, certainly those that are close to me, I can see it being hard just because it's like, wow, I know, Tommy. I can't believe that he was ever in a place like this. Um, and yet for others, it would be more because of again some overlapping pain in their own lives, whether it be their own or a loved one, or knowing there would be people who read this book who have lost loved ones to suicide or maybe have attempts in their own past in. And so uh really wanted to try again my best to be honoring, not unnecessarily detailed, and yeah, try to find that sweet spot where it kind of lets those who have never been in that place a have a glimpse into what it's like to be in that kind of place. Because I think it helps people to better come alongside others in their pain when they've sort of been forced to look in the mirror at some of their own, or at least to be able to see the depths of the pain of others. And again, I I certainly could have gone into a lot more detail, brought a lot more vulnerability, and yet at that point it felt like it would have been too much. And so, again, that really set the tone for a lot of what the rest of the book would have is again, just about every single chapter has a an opening story or some point throughout of a vulnerability for me through that. And so my hope is that as you read it, that you will maybe be inspired at some point to bring that same kind of vulnerability for others, maybe not in a book or or a podcast or whatever it might be like that, but even just as you have a chance to share your own testimony to be able to find the way to bring others into that for yourself too. And so thanks for tuning in. Uh, looking forward to continuing to unpack a little bit more behind the scenes from each of the subsequent chapters. So we'll see you soon.